“ADD Can Add Extra Love.”

6 min readJan 2, 2021

“Your son has ADD. Here’s some options of medication.”

Those words can be absolutely terrifying as a parent. But, let me tell you, it can also be a relief to hear them. I know, I know, that’s not what anyone will admit but when I received that diagnosis for my then second grade little boy, I knew there was hope.

A little back story- I had recently finalized my divorce and custody agreements and just got my very own first apartment just a year or so before. My kiddo and I had been living with my Nana after I left my ex husband, and while I am so thankful for her and everything she has done for us, she and I didn’t always get on the best of terms when it came to caring for and disciplining my son. So we were thrilled with having our own little place. He was just starting first grade, I had gotten a raise and new position at my job, and I had just paid off my first car. Things were amazing.

As with most boys it seems, my son was super hyper and always doing more than one thing at a time. Whether it be watching something on the TV and playing Legos, or colouring and racing cars, he was always doing more than one thing. Being cooped up in a small upstairs apartment where you have to walk softly in order to not disturb your downstairs neighbors can be hard on anyone, no matter the age. When I noticed him getting more and more agitated, I tried to take him out for walks, going to the park or lake, riding his bike, anything to help burn off some of that ever popular “boy energy”. I started to make excuses for his outbursts and brushing it off as normal kid energy for being in a small apartment. It wasn’t until he started his tantrums that I worried if it was me being an overindulgent parent.

There were good days and bad days, but things slowly started to get out of control.

Fast forward a few months. I had gotten daily morning phone calls, often before school officially began for the day, asking me to come pick him up from the principal’s office for various acts of misconduct. He would randomly throw things at students and staff, swing his arm across a table and scatter whatever was on top of it onto the floor. Thankfully, he never bit or hit anyone though. When he ran from his dad, who had been called to come get him one day, and out into the street I knew it wasn’t just me being a “bad parent.”

The worst day of my life came when I had to verbally give consent to the principal and counselor to physically grab, restrain and carry my kicking and screaming little boy into my car where he proceeded to kick, hit and bounce around inside my car, even banging his head on the window! By now he would regularly work himself up into these tantrums to the point of throwing up, sweating and nearly passing out. What broke my heart the most as a mother was every time he eventually tired himself out and had calmed down, he would cry and apologize for everything he had just done. I still vividly remember him, cuddled in my lap and just sobbing his little heart out, telling me that he “can’t stop it. I can’t control my anger bubble Mama. I want to but I can’t!”

I pulled him out of public school and started to home-school using the K12 program. Let me just say this real quick about them- they are amazing. They sent every little thing we needed, including a computer AND printer! His teacher was supportive and any technical issues were handled from their customer service swiftly and apologies to ME for the inconveniences! If you’d like to learn more about them and their programs, check them out Here.

Homeschooling can be a great alternative, especially during these times of COVID-19

Unfortunately for my son and I, the excitement and fun of home school didn’t last very long. After a few months he lost the novel thrill of “never having to go to school” and doing things at home. One day I finally had enough- I was over pleading, begging, bribing my son to calm down, to use belly breathing (a fantastic way of helping kids calm down) and making tear filled phone calls to my ex husband to come over and help me with our son. I did a quick search and found a child psychiatrist in our little town who was able to see us the next day. After a few weeks of therapy, the psychiatrist sent information to our pediatrician who was able to get a VERY LOW DOSE medication for my son.

Medication and therapy aren’t a bad thing. They can truly help save your sanity, even in scary situations like this.

Now at this point, I was a wreck. Naturally, as moms are prone to do, I blamed everything on myself, my parenting skills or lack thereof. But I had tried every other option before medication. It was honestly a last resort- I didn’t want my son to be placed as a statistic. There’s so much stigma to medicating hyper kids and I was not for it. But. He’s my baby. My whole world. And this half a milligram pill, paired with weekly therapy meetings, would help my son control his “anger bubble” and stop hating himself. We decided it was worth a shot.

Now, with my son’s weekly meetings, I was given my own set of “homework” to do. I also got a therapist for myself, specifically to help cope with the last year or so and with all the new found tools at hand, I was able to help repair my son’s and my relationship. I found new ways of talking to him, helping him learn and describe what he was feeling, asking him if he needed help or wanted to be left alone for quiet time. It wasn’t a quick fix as one would assume, but within a month or so, I noticed a complete turn around in his attitude and my own. I finally had my sweet baby boy back. And while those 18 or so months were a nightmare before, I’m so thankful for it because I truly believe my son and I have a better relationship for it now.

He just turned 13 this last November, and while I’m sure being a single mom of a new teenager is going to have its own ups and downs, I know we have a good relationship and are able to talk to each other and clearly state what we need in the moment from one another. He’s still on medication, though only 3 milligrams now and we don’t see a therapist anymore. He is growing into such a kind and considerate young man and though we struggled in his tender early years, I know we found extra love through it.

“ADD Can Add Extra Love.”

There were good days and bad days, but things slowly started to get out of control.

Medication and therapy aren’t a bad thing. They can truly help save your sanity, even in scary situations like this.

Written by Rabadagarge